Living Rarely

I continued to record several videos over the following weeks. Not knowing a specific diagnosis kept me moving through each day as if everything was going to be alright, and talking to the camera was cathartic. This is my first time sharing these videos.

Due to the location and size of the tumor, my local oncologist referred me to a surgeon at Moffitt Cancer Center. The local oncologist said I’d probably have surgery and go through a couple of chemo treatments. Sounded easy enough, so we went to lunch to “celebrate.” I felt relieved, I felt positive. Surgery and a couple of rounds of chemo. No biggie.

Here’s how I felt about all that:

And then my attitude took a turn:

So as you can see, I was getting angry. The video above shows my polite anger. But I was so tired of talking about “it.” Not knowing the specific kind of cancer was irritating, but more than that, just still reeling from having cancer. Me. Why me??

But we had to move forward. My first trip to Moffitt was on January 17, 2021, for a CT scan.

Finally, a diagnosis, and a reminder that God works in mysterious ways:

And that was the last video I made in 2021.

The following Tuesday I had a port placed in my chest and began chemo the same day. This is a whole other topic that we’ll get into a little bit later.